Passion is what we love. For example, I’m passionate about roller hockey. I love it. Passion is what serves us. Purpose, on the other hand, is about serving others. Your purpose becomes your why. How do you, through your purpose, serve others? Your customers? Your team? Your friends and family? From this identification of purpose, your values begin to manifest.

What is your motivation for change? Why is it important to you? Who, besides yourself, will benefit from these changes? Answering these questions encourages you to think outside of yourself. Why did you create your vision? What would future-you say to present-you in a postcard? Who else benefits from that future?

When I spoke to young hockey players, I told them how much I loved the game. I played and practised every day. I always wanted to win. I wanted to be the best. I would get quite upset and frustrated when, particularly at men’s world level, other players would go out drinking at the world championships. They’d say, ‘We’re away for ten days. We’ve got to relax and have fun.’ I would be thinking, We’re away for ten days to play hockey, not to go out and drink. Then they’d turn up for a match the next day hung over, and I’d be so angry. On reflection, this was selfish of me because I was only serving myself by fulfilling my passion. However, if you play with purpose, you’re still playing with intent, but you’re playing with the intent to make the rest of the players better. For me, this is at the very heart of leadership.

Like many other young players, in my early playing days, it was all about proving myself to the coach, Mark Cavallin, and holding on to the puck a bit longer to try and beat more players or pull off a fancy play. I was a selfish player. At one point, I apologised to my coach for not scoring goals, and he told me to stop trying. He told me to instead focus on assisting other players and letting them score the goals. Suddenly, through this selfless play, I started scoring more goals. Mark led the team with purpose. He was more concerned with developing and teaching us as individuals and not just players, and his consistency and sense of purpose made me really trust him.

The same principles of selflessness and serving others can be applied to business. The best way to get out of your own head is to serve other people. Move the puck quicker and give other players more time on the puck. You’re stronger when you’re serving others and when you’re working as part of a unit, so dare to let go and allow others to thrive so they can realise their visions as well.

Align Your Why Across The 4 Keys

It’s easier to find the purpose for your business than for your relationships because the purpose for a business tends to be more pragmatic, although it may border on marketing messages. While they may have value, business whys can distract from the deeper, more meaningful whys that transcend across all four keys.

My why has often been about helping people create an environment in which they can thrive, feel inspired, and reach their full potential. This translates into helping them become fit and healthy with a positive mindset. I did this with Team GB and with businesses and executives.

However, I didn’t think about the environment I was creating at home. I wasn’t present for my wife or children. For example, I’d never look at my phone halfway through a client meeting, but it never occurred to me that looking at texts and email messages during dinner with my family was just as wrong.

Once I took a deeper look at my purpose—I get up in the morning to help others thrive—I realised my why shouldn’t be limited to my professional life. Paying the bills may be an immediate priority, but it meant very little in the long run, especially compared to other priorities, like my children. Tapping into that why and applying it to my relationships was incredibly important. When I could do that, I connected better with my family, and this reflected back across my business by making me a better coach and team leader.

Each of The 4 Keys is linked. Business. Body. Relationships. Mindset. When something impacts one key, the effects are felt across all four, whether the influence is positive or negative. If your business suffers, so do your relationships. If your health improves, so does your mindset. If your mindset improves, so do your relationships.

For more advice on finding your purpose, you can find The 4 Keys on Amazon.

Andrew Sillitoe is a business psychologist, author, and speaker. His innovative approach to leadership and work-life balance has earned him invitations to work with a range of global companies, including Pfizer, Nationwide, Virgin, and the BBC. Today Andrew runs the UK’s number-one training company for entrepreneurs and business owners who want to succeed in business, health, relationships, and mindset.