Andrew’s Blog: Emotionally Unavailable

Working at pace and keeping ourselves busy enables us to ignore feelings and the feelings of others.

Stand up straight, have a stiff upper lip and you’ll get through it, is the mantra.

That may work short-term – but who will you become on the other side?

I have spent most of my life emotionally unavailable. Any sign of emotion and I could push a button and desensitise myself from emotional experiences.

I believed it was my superpower.

But, in reality, emotions were my Kryptonite and holding them inside was making me weak.

Give in to your feelings, don’t deny them, let yourself feel them, it’s the only way to let go.

When we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable we learn to show real mental strength.

Keeping emotions trapped inside will show up eventually putting your body at dis-ease.

I didn’t cry at my fathers funeral because I wanted to be strong for my dad and my sisters, that’s what men do right?

Andrew’s Blog: Lighten Up!

Focused professionals take their business seriously, sometimes too seriously and become overwhelmed, spread themselves too thinly and unknowingly drop their quality.

This has certainly been my experience and an athlete and as a business leader. I often wonder how much better I could have been if I had a little more fun when competing. I would have expressed myself differently.

Take time to laugh at yourself, billy silly and have some fun at your own expense.

When we learn to lighten up and don’t spread ourselves too thinly our quality and performance improve. Play to your strengths and enjoy the moment.

Otherwise, life will pass you by and you’ll wonder where the time went.

How do you make time for fun?

Andrew’s Blog: Be Careful What You Wish For

When all we have wanted is not enough, we are in big trouble. It drives us to take on too much and puts us into a state of panic.

The panic is not conscious – we may enjoy striving for more, but there is an insidious form of stress at the unconscious, which will lead to overwhelm and burnout.

Don’t get me wrong, I like nice things, nice clothes, driving a nice car, living in a nice home. But I have learnt that it is people in my life that matters and how I show up for them that will be my legacy.

I want more out of me for them – and that is what I strive for daily.

Get clear about who you are and how you want others to see you.

Make fulfilling others lives the goal and you will thrive.

Materialism is seductive and those things may not be what you want to be remembered for.

Be careful what you wish for, it may come true…

Andrew’s Blog: There is No Second Act

It is difficult to remind ourselves that we are finite creatures. We say things like “let’s leave it for today, we can do it tomorrow” or “Next week I will make time to play with the kids” or “No vacation this year, let’s plan for next year” “I need to prioritise work this week”

It scares me how quickly my children are growing up and the time I could be missing out with them.

We believe that we have more time than we actually do. We are living a Peter Pan lifestyle, but in reality, there is no second act in this life.

Make a concerted effort not to let time get away from you. It’s too valuable to spend on work all day and into the evening.

Work is important, doing good work is essential. But life is short and time with loved ones is not forever.

Don’t let your delusions tell you differently.

Andrew’s Blog: It’s a Paradox

Hyper-achievers need to be the fastest, craziest, most talented. The ultimate winner. I’ve no doubt it starts at a young age.

The novice skier can’t just ski down a mountain, they have to take the hardest and fastest route.

They drink more than anyone else at the party.

They are the first one in and the last one out at work – it’s a badge of honour and they believe this mindset is the road to success and fame.

But paradoxically it is when they are at their weakest, pushing themselves to every limit in their lives.

You probably know this person, or maybe it was you?

Avoid pushing yourself beyond your capabilities in everything you do.

Success will be found in the simple things that give you clarity and empower you to play to your strengths.

You do not want to end up in the Burnout Hall of Fame – it’s not a reward you want to be proud of.

Do you agree?

Andrew’s Blog: Reconnect With Your Craft

Many busy executives hate their work. They begrudge turning up every day to create results for others. It works at first, but after a while, it takes its toll and can lead to resentment and burnout.

When we are no longer immersed in our work and feel coerced into doing something we don’t believe in, we lose the passion and feel the need to escape.

When this happens, try this:

  • Get lost in your work, reconnect with what you love.
  • Create space for yourself to go deeper and reflect on your purpose.
  • Remind yourself of the difference you are making in the world.

When you immerse yourself in your work, you will be at your healthiest both physically and mentally.

Working on something you love and are passionate about is one of the most rewarding things you can do in life.

Find inner peace in your work by reconnecting with your craft and mastery – rather than running away.

How do you stay connected to your work?

Andrew’s Blog: Don’t Create the Same Trap

Many business owners start their own businesses because they are sick of working for people who don’t care about humanity, families and who take advantage of their power.

These companies take advantage of consciousness workaholics – they are a breeding ground for addicts who get lost in serving power and gaining power thus neglecting their life outside the office as if it is nothing more than a distraction from the goal.

It’s a trap.

Unfortunately, many business owners create the same trap for themselves in their own businesses.

It is easily done at an unconscious level.

Ensure you incorporate your personal life into your work, see yourself in a holistic way by having a clear purpose in your health, relationships and mindset, as well as your business.

Make your workplace human – the rewards are much greater.

Don’t create a business that becomes a hotbed for institutionalised workaholics and burned out hyper-achievers. There will be a price to pay.

How do you step back and consciously acknowledge life outside of your work?

Andrew’s Blog: You’ll Be By Yourself

Too much speed at work is a result of addiction and the desire for instant gratification. Working at pace masks our ignorance of what is actually taking place.

We worry that if we slow down our thinking, something may manifest itself, which could slow down progress.

Busy leaders prefer not to allow this to happen – the more unaware we are the quicker the decision can be made.

We make change happen for the sake of change without any real thought.

We may believe this is a good sign of authority!

But we know that this eventually catches up with us and we get found out, not just at work, but in the home too!

Slow down and simplify the workplace you are in. Reflect on your traits, and how you are complicating the work environment.

This will help you see the bigger picture and bring people on the journey with you.

If you keep speeding ahead, people get left behind and you’ll end up by yourself.

Andrew’s Blog: Fail Fast, Learn Quick

Hyper-achievers are addicted to success. They are focused on the next promotion, winning a big deal or being the business leader of the year.

I wanted to know how I could grow my business, win more games, lift heavier, sprint faster.

And who was monitoring me, judging me, pushing me?

For the most part, it was my inner voice. The voice that was scared of failure and didn’t appreciate the opportunity that failure would bring.

Take time to discover the small wins and gaps, and not just in your business, but also in your health, relationships and mindset.

Learn to step back and evaluate the details, then you will notice how the small wins and losses move you forward.

Going big all the time is a distraction from reality and will stop you from reaching your full potential.

What is your process for failing fast and learning quick?

Andrew’s Blog: Go to the Source

Our parents in most cases are our first models of behaviour. For men, it is usually their fathers.

Everyone I know who has a workaholic lifestyle or some level of self-sabotage can direct it back to their parents.

Remember your parents work ethic and their approach to work.  Consider how this has impacted how you approach your work. What patterns are you repeating? Are they positive or negative?

When you learn to remove unwanted patterns you strip back the layers to find your authentic self.

Otherwise, you may find yourself on autopilot repeating the same pattern that doesn’t serve you very well

Do you have an old pattern that is holding you and your business back?